Whisper

When you are lying in your bed, tired and lethargic. And you can barely muster up the energy to lift your head up from the pillow let alone go get yourself a drink. But the voice in the head keeps whispering; “Go on and get up, get ready and just show up.”

Do yourself a favour and listen. Do yourself a bigger favour and actually do it it. You will never know how much that simple decision can set a domino effect and change the course of your life. Stay in your bed, and well you won’t know what you missed out on. If you can handle that, then fine.

But if it was really alright with you, you wouldn’t have had that whisper in the first place.

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Expectation

Is the root of all heartache.

If you ordered a chicken burger, and you were so looking forwarded to tasting it, the anticipation was at its peak, and you were so excited for it. Then after the wait, in came a just a plain burger bun.

How gutted and disappointed will you be? You were hungry, you waited and waited for it. You are now hangry beyond words. The rage is quite something and through the red mist you just cannot believe how incompetent the waiter, the chef and the world can be.

Now is it the actual burger that caused you pain. Or the certainty you had that you would get it and it didn’t materialise how you wanted it to?

Now I am not saying not to have expectations of people, of life of what you want. But not to let it effect your well being as much as maybe it use to in the past. When people or circumstances hurt or disappoint you. Realise it is your belief in them that they failed to live up to.

And if you realise that sometimes you will just get a plain burger bun. Then it can not harm you.

Sometimes, just sometimes it maybe a blessing. And if you look at it the bun long enough, you may even realise its what you needed.

bun

Resistance

Why do we resist?  We can delay, style it out and just prolong a decision or choice that we know we need to make. But we do not make it, for whatever reason. That choice can lead you down a road of many years of compliance and quiet desperation, because in your soul you know you are living a life that wasn’t meant for you. But then you put on your superhero cape, and convince yourself you are doing it for the greater good and you make the sacrifice, because that is kind of person you are.

However years turns into decades, and eventually your soul which started out as a whisper, is now an all out scream. Sometimes people call this “mid-life crisis”, others call it a time in their life where they just had enough courage to say enough is enough. Whatever you label it, is down to you.

Some say you had to travel down the road of distraction to get to where you are now. For others, if you you had the strength to listen to your gut in the beginning,  you may have learnt different lessons that your soul may have needed at the time.

Whatever the outcome, we are where we are because of the circumstances, choices and the people who came into our lives. The thing is, we can keep choosing, just try and stop resisting.

It may lead you down the great yellow brick road, without always having to go down the pothole road.

“Pain is meant to be a teacher, not a companion. Learn the lesson and let it go.”

Usage

Do we forge relationships ultimately because its what we can get out of them? Yes by all means we are drawn to people who are lovely, kind, caring etc. That is down to how they make us feel, and we are not all takers all of the time, but it does come with conditions.

If for whatever reason their behaviour changes and they turn into a massive moron, we pull back. And rightly so even cut them off for our own well being.

So I ask again, do we keep people in our life for what they can do for us?

What do I say?

You can only explain yourself to the level of that the person’s understanding.

That is what makes us human beings so complex. If you are lucky enough to have someone who understands that. Great. If you have someone who wants to understand and improve. Even better.

If both of you are able to and want to work through it then that is a great starting point. But if what you are doing is breaking you each day, then at some point what can you say and what more can you do?

It can be heart breaking. But isn’t it worth breaking your heart once, than over and over again?

Boundaries

Some people just don’t even know the meaning of the word right? I am sure we have all sat there and thought “Is this person for real?” But you know what, everyone has different standards and some people genuinely don’t know when the line has been crossed. And you only know its been crossed when someone highlights it for you.

I mean I could think me coming into your home, taking up you orange juice from the fridge is fine. And it could well be fine with my mate Billy. But could be a heinous crime for my mate John Bob (please know that I don’t have anyone in my life with these names, not that there is anything wrong with these names, just that its the first names that pop into my head)

My point is how can we be mad at someone who doesn’t know? Now granted there are some unspoken rules that should just go without saying. Like sleeping with your mates boyfriend or girlfriend, stealing. I mean I could go on. But even in these circumstances people can still justify their actions. And the mind can reason anything if it wants. The point is, humans do what pleases them and sometimes screw the circumstances, and they would rather apologise for their behaviour than stop their behaviour.

All you can do is be clear where your lines are and scream like a banshee when its been crossed. Sometimes you have to teach people what is acceptable and what is not and by doing so, you maybe helping in the growth of another human being for the better. Which in turns help the world become a better place. I have been guilty of just keeping my mouth shut, but who does that help?

Although silence can also be a great teacher, the trick is knowing when its best used.

My sister gave me an amazing quote from a song, it is along the same thought as MLK and Malcolm X I believe.

“Wise men say rushing is violence and so is your silence when it’s rooted in compliance.”